Diana

I can control how i think. And i told myself i want to be happy. I feel alot better after some talk with my cousin. She made me see what i couldnt all along. It solved my problems and fears. And i knew the answer. :) Now i feel alot more like a bird freed from its cage. Its not love. Its friendship im afraid of losing. Did a facebook quiz... "What mask do you wear?" Your mask is strength. You try hard to fend for yourself. You do not let others do things for you. You often need to be in control of a situation, even if you can't handle it alone. You are always putting on a front, even if you don't feel strong at all. You don't let others see you when you're vulnerable, because you barely let your self be. Despite your flaws of always trying to act strong, you are a strong person, with strong character that can do anything you put your mind to. A lot of the times you really don't need anyone, and are perfectly capable on your own. However, there are times yo

Recently my heart is throbbing more than usual. It seems funny to feel this way. It seems like losing something you cared for so much, but yet not expecting to feel this way. Alot of things have been happening in my life and its hard to cope. No point lying that its an easy job. Being strong is one thing but being stressed is another. Sometimes i find myself thinking about things in the middle of my work and staring into thin air, not able to find the solution. Alot of times i was in a bad mood, a sad mood, a depressed mood, a stressed yet don't know what to do mood. And the way i vent my anger out, i do it alone. I'm caught buying stuff i do not really fancy and stuffing them down myself to make my heartache go away. Chocolates are indulged in a different manner rather than savouring every bit of it. I forced it down me. I have never really liked chocolate. And i didn't know why i had to eat it when i feel sick in the heart or ache. I just had to torture myself, maybe. Bei

Good day all. Today im in a very good mood. So after my paper in the morning, i went shopping alone. Got quite alot of stuff and also saw alot of things. My mind was in a mess the night before but now it seems to feel better. I guess some alone time really helps. When i had decided to go home at about 6pm, i was standing there using the phone while suddenly some guy who looked quite familliar walked towards me. After hanging up i said hi! But after a few exchange of greetings i asked him. Who are you ar? :x LOL. I really dont remember whos friend this was. He told me i went pulau ubin with him before, with a group. I suddenly recalled and we chatted for awhile. He's not exactly my friend. Just my last year's friend's friend. HAHAHA. For a moment i forgot who is our common friend. Sheesh. im starting to talk in riddles already. Anyway i bought a book from Borders and i have already started reading it. I got an addiction for books recently. Ever since daddy died. I wonder why

*Winks. Hello, new Diana. (I got something i wish to type here. But i shall not) Oo speaking of which. Since im working tmr, i asked a favour from my cousin. To take back my EZlink card. Hehe. Finally my whole collection x3 Pssst : Edwin birthday is coming. *Reminds myself :X

Yesterday the steamboat with Caslyn blew us off and the whole night out was indeed very memorable. 2 girls having steamboat together, it sort of reminded me of the times when i had steamboat with someone else long ago. While eating, i could notice a bunch of stares from the table behind me and on my left. It was quite distracting but i ignored it completely and finished our meal. After walking some distant away, i asked Caslyn if they were looking at her or isit my imagination. She laughed and told me that they kept on taking little peeks and glances at me. I was like LMAO loh. Whats up with them man. Anyway after that we went to shop shop. Caslyn was shopping for her jeans and im just hanging around waiting for her to finish trying in the fitting room. Turned out that she got talked into by the sales girl and she bought the pants!!! Which she could get outside for 10 bucks cheaper. LOL Gay shitx. A whole day of walking made our feet hurt in our heels so we bought flats and we end up w

对不起... Really liked this song.

Hey you , 就是你 , 請靠近我懷裡 , 別假裝不在意 , 你明明動了心 :))) I love 2804. Psssst: Where's my drawing? ;x Faster get ur license, drive me to schooooool HAHAHAHA. Dearrrrrrrr, i missssss you!

I would rather stand on firm ground than on a few levels of pretty paper. I was actually not intending to blog about my day on thursday. But lance, being very annoying woke me up at 8.50 and still manage to ask why im still sleeping. My work only starts at 11.30. zzz. Anyway, since im up now and i got nothing much to do besides waiting for boyfriend to meet me at the void deck, which later on he called and told me he's running a fever and i made him go home instead of meeting me. :x i shall blog about yesterday! Initially was supposed to attend work at 3pm but in the end went at 2pm cause something cropped up at Caslyn's household and she had to rush down. I was shocked when i received a call from Caslyn crying. I am really not good at words, sorry. I guess life is so fragile huh? ... :( I took over Caslyn's shift of working in the shoe shop. But seriously its my first time working there and i had a little difficulty adapting to the environment and the stocks. :D I was real

Some people do not believe in retribution. Yet fear its existence when they sin. Its been so long. So long since i last had this problem. I know my recent posts are going haywire and sounding(or looking) very dry had most probably aroused the majority to rest their minds and stop reading this very second. But all the time i wonder, are there anyone out there, going through how I'm feeling now, lethargic yet unable to have a peace of mind and let my mind at ease while descending under the sheets. Something's bothering me. And i need to get it out. From my chest. And i am trying very hard to piece out what is. Unleashing almost every straw in my head(?) I need to go to school tomorrow but why am i still here blogging senseless routes to nowhere and typing aimlessly prodding on which topic to start from. I have always wanted to write a book. An autobiography, about my life and hopefully the story comes to a happy ending. (Equivocation intended) Maybe 10 years down the road, i woul

Really outdated pictures from the Sentosa outing... Avril's birthday... Long long ago.(?) Just when you know things were getting better, you lost everything all of a sudden. Hola. - blog readers, friends, families and of course, my faithful haters. For the past few days i was caught up with home accounts, bills to settle, and so much more load now on my back. It was then i started to realize that i was the one that took over my dad's responsibility. Not my mom. Some may be surprised at why. But the answer is pretty straight forward. Because she cant and she wont. So its me. He willed his stress and status to me. How delightful(?) As the eldest among the 3 of the kids in the household, it is my sole responsibility that nothing goes wrong with my siblings and they, of course, will get to continue whatever they were doing. It was me that was having doubts about my capability in balancing earning money and working hard in school. And my worries about my part time job's salary n

Just the other day i saw his "oh so irritating face" flashing through the room remarking on every flaw he see in me. How annoying is that? Just the other day i shouted at him for throwing my bag away and he stared at me hurling the worst a man can ever speak. How rude is that? Just the other day he called me and asked where i was and asked how come im not home yet when im at a friend's party and he demanded me to come home. How unreasonable is that? Just the other day he commented on my clothes on the floor and my shoes thats all over the place and talked about it the rest of the day. How naggy is that? Just the other day he didnt wanna give me money to buy my things and complained about me spending so much money. How stingy is that? But today, No matter how rich i am, how successful i would be or how clever i will get, i can no longer hear his voice nor see his "oh so irritating" face, again. For he has departed from our world. But i know, he will always be the